Recovering

Day Five in the hospital. Ella is no longer intubated and is only on 0.5 liters of oxygen per nasal canula with oxygen saturation in mid 90’s. Her blood pressure is finally increasing and seems to be holding for the past 12 hours. She is on 3mcg/kg/min of dopamine down from 6 this morning. Foley was removed. The continuous lasix drip was discontinued and now scheduled IV every 12 hours. Ella’s heart rhythm is 100% paced and I would expect a permanent pacemaker to be placed in the next couple of days. Her underlying rhythm is complete heart block. Ella has been sick today, bringing up the meals she ate yesterday. No appetite today at all. They just made her NPO – nothing by mouth for the time being.
Ella is mad and will nod her head “yes” when asked so. She is very withdrawn. For the most part she has chosen to be mute. The only real sounds she has made in the past 24 hours are crying and screaming when given oral medication. Colin is lying in bed with her right now playing with bendaroos. Even Colin hasn’t gotten a smile from her sweet little face today.
It is hard to see her this way. I’ve tried coloring, tv, laying in bed with her and rubbing her head, reading books, singing, short crafts, leaving her alone and nothing seems to make her happy. My mommy heart hurts for her. I gave her a bath last night and put lip gloss and blush on her. A girl should always look her best even when she doesn’t feel it.
Paul and I are now taking turns at the hospital. Tonight is Paul’s shift. Visitors are welcome. It helps to pass the time 